Other Than Wordstock

For reasons that have only been vaguely alluded to as yet, this year's 12 started a few months later than usual, and as a result 12.6 has spent the first 2 months working entirely on Wordstock. We were given the brief exactly 3 days after we started school, with around 75 days till the actual event.

In a little over two months, we crammed a lot of learning into a short period of time, a lot of ideas into a lot of presentation decks, a lot of food puns onto buttons, a lot of it into wordholes. And hopefully in the end, we will succeed in cramming a lot of literary omnivores into the Oregon Convention Center.

In between moments, in the"interstitial spaces," we've managed to have some laughs, make some stuff, and get taped saying a lot of stupid crap. Here's a quick sampling:


Super tiny happy hour at 50 Plates


Jamie is practicing for later


Our blood is Wordstock Red


And then Mike was born and we celebrated.


"Hey, remember when Mike was from the future?" "No."


Roof beers


Trying not to be creeped out that Ris is dressed like a woman at his photo shoot.


More roof beers

Keep Calm and Bake Goods

If there is anything we hate more than giant parodies of the "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster, it's people calling us ungrateful. We here at WK12 are thankful every day for the experience of being at W+K and we try our best to take advantage of everything this place has to offer.

To show our gratitude to the people who email us when there's free food in the building, share wisdom on how to navigate the WK corridors, teach us about the wide world of print production, spell and fact check our Wordstock buttons, and put up with all our stores of food crowding the SW fridge, we've taken to making Thank-You-Pies. Our own 11/12 Casey Hall is pretty handy with a food processor and can whip up homemade pie crust using only butter, flour, and whatever doesn't have a name on it from the 6th floor fridge. (We hear this skill will come in handy sometime in December.)







So if you'd like one of these WK12 Specialty Pies, all you have to do is offer to speak to us and tell us some fun stories about your experiences at WK. You can even make stuff up, we won't know the difference. And if you're in line for pie, please let us know if there are dietary/allergy concerns, and know that your pie will be on the way, just as soon as someone abandons some heavy whipping cream somewhere.

Ride of the Valkyries & Lunch in Valhalla

What seems like forever ago, predating our adventures with the Hung Far Low sign or our Meetings Against Meetings, we each in turn stood in the atrium and introduced ourselves to Wieden + Kennedy and said inane things about ourselves. Then we played this little video of ourselves to premiere our new TV show.

After all that opening up and looking stupid in public, we felt like we needed to regroup and regain our dignity. So we donned a bunch of viking helmets and gorged ourselves on a Norwegian feast prepared by Thor's mom. We got totally wasted on Viking booze, and then ran around the agency naked (except for the hats) and pillaged the shit out of everyone.

Not really, but we talked about it. Same thing, right?



Our portraits from Day One.


Pre-game stretching


We're all just gazing lovingly into Joe's eyes


Costume Nikes, not for resale


Michelle says "ay"


Where's my matching battle ax?


I say "Anglo" you say "Norman!" "Anglo-Norman! Anglo-Norman!"


Real vikings would have taken the stairs


Pass the grog


Which of you barbarians ate the head already?


A few words from our hosts


Intimidating. Intimidatingly adorable.


What a bunch of filthy vikings

What's Your Head Shape?

If you're about to go get a haircut and you need to figure out what your head is shaped like, Jess Price and WK12 have a quiz that will help you out! Flashback to your teen/preteen/early 20s years of getting all your wisdom and advice from Sassy magazine!

!!!

Is your idea of a relaxing night in:
1) a long bubble bath with candles
2) reading a book in bed
3) watching a good movie

When you go out on the town do you:
1) hit the hottest dance club
2) wine and dine and a fancy restaurant
3) check out your favorite band at the hippest venue in town

Your ideal mate:
1) is sporty and always up for an adventure
2) appreciates a good book and art films
3) is always ready to party and meet new people


Results:
All answers suggest that your head shape is stupid.

Big Trouble in Little Chinatown

The Hung Far Low sign, Portland's biggest dick joke and an undeniable part of the city's history. Someone, somewhere, figured it was too weather-worn to survive another winter, so at great expense, it was taken down. Everyone, then, everywhere, decided that we loved that sign, and needed it put back, fully restored, alight, a neon beacon for those of us stumbling back from bars and strip clubs.

Thus, the Old Town Block Party. Some of Old Town and Chinatown's most innovative and relevant businesses crammed their beer, food, art and retail into one city block in the shadow of Big Pink.

12 was there at John Jay's request, hauling our fourteen foot Ames room photobooth. If you don't know what an Ames room is, this should explain everything: http://virtualreality.physiol.ox.ac.uk/AMESROOM/ames_fig3.png

Basically, we did 12 does best. We put people into an unfamiliar situation, then we waited to see what would happen. We waited for a scene to take place, we waited for a story to develop, we captured it all. We raised about $275 to put towards the re-erection of that lovely sign. And, we had fun.

Meetings Schmeetings

Last Friday, between coughing paroxysms, naps, cocktails and methamphetamines, I heard a few 12ers complain they were not invited to a meeting.

Boo-fucking-hoo.

They should have gotten on their knees and thanked the Lord above, assuming for a moment such a divine being exists.

Dear God,
Thank you for the food we eat.
Thank you for the world so sweet.
Thank you for the birds that sing.
Thank you God for everything, especially for getting me out of that goddamned meeting.

(While they were down on those knees, they should've also thanked the aforementioned Lord for not making them Byron Oshiro, but that's a different subject.)

Fuck meetings!

Canadian fiction writer and cultural commentator Douglas Coupland had this to say about meetings:

Here's my theory about meetings and life; the three things you can't fake are erections, competence and creativity. That's why meetings become toxic they put uncreative people in a situation in which they have to be something they can never be. And the more effort they put into concealing their inabilities, the more toxic the meeting becomes. One of the most common creativity-faking tactics is when someone puts their hands in prayer position and conceals their mouth while they nod at you and say, 'Mmmmmm. Interesting.' If pressed, they'll add, 'I'll have to get back to you on that.' Then they don't say anything else.

In other words, meetings suck.

Yes, they are a necessary evil for information.

But, by all means but:

Keep them few and far between.

Keep them brief.

Keep them informative.

And, unless you have some useful information to share, keep your mouth shut.

Meetings are a breeding ground for laziness and cowardness. Nobody ever gets fired for going to too many meetings.

Fuck meetings!

My alleged work is all bastardization; therefore, I will bastardize the 1957 Yale Baccalaureate Address, which, ironically, hails from the year of my entrance into the world.

Could a committee in a meeting have written Hamlet or the Mona Lisa been painted by a club? Could the New Testament been composed in a meeting?

Creative ideas do not spring from meetings. They spring from individuals.

The divine spark leaps from the finger of God to the finger of Adam, whether it takes ultimate shape in a law of physics or the law of the land, a poem, a policy, a sonata, a steak or a catchy jingle.

Make God look good.

Assuming, of course, he exists.

The new 12ers are here

Just so our millions of fans out there know, the new 12.6 class is here and we will be updating the blog shortly.